Adaption vs. Adoption Part II
Published by Korey Buchanek under on 12:21 PM
April 19, 2010
Does it not bring you joy to see how as a Christ follower you continue to see old concepts revealing new truths in your life? I’ve been journeying through the concepts of adoption and adaption for some time now and I continue to land on a single principle in His Word. Proverbs 22:6 communicates, “Train up a child in the way he should go so that when they are old they shall not depart from it." To me personally the heartbeat of this verse speaks to much more than we have traditionally taught. I say that because this was a pivotal verse that continually spoke to the purpose of discipline in the home that I grew up in as a child. It was that verse and the one about some rod that my dad tattooed on my backside most of my childhood. The question that I’m wrestling with now is whether we have chosen for this verse about training to communicate through the lens of adaption verses adoption.
We are what we know in so many ways. We mimic what is modeled and we embrace what is comfortable. What makes us comfortable with this verse in the life of the church and our homes is that it places control and power into the hands of the one doing the training. We assume that the role and responsibility placed on the trainer is much greater than it truly is. Don’t mistake what I’m saying. I do believe there is a responsibility on the trainer, but not for the result of the one being trained.
See, I discipline my children and I teach and model truth to them in ways that constantly feel insufficient to me. I get so angry and frustrated when they, in my eyes, disregard my training. This is partly because I feel responsible for their behavior and I see it as a reflection of my involvement in their life. I always thought I would be that cool dad who was popular with my kids friends. It’s like I was trying to make up for lost time in high school or something. I was making my own groupies. However, once reality sets in and I allow my controlling nature to rise up I begin disciplining in ways that make my children conform to my idea of a model citizen. I want them to act like I act and live like I live. Side note: unity is not found in conformity. My wrestling is found in the true relationship in my role as disciplinarian and the outcome of my training. I think the church in many ways has mistaken this concept as well with our drive-by-guiltings on our people.
Look at the verse again. “Train up a child in the way he should go…” See I always thought I knew the best way my child should go. My culture tells me as a father that I know best… we had a television show with that title so that must make it truth. In the end though the outcome is based on the direction the Lord has for my child. “The way he should go” is not dependant on my opinions or what I think is best. God has wired my children with passions and giftedness that are not mine. It means I have to begin to trust that through my faithfulness as a trainer that the Lord will produce in them the understanding of His way for them. His way is not always my way. No matter how hard it is to see my children make choices that I would make differently, I have to remember that God has a way planned for them. The same is true in the church. Adoption is admitting that I can only provide care and love, but adaption is assuming my way for a hurting world is better than His way.
If I learn to be faithful with my role then I have to become comfortable and content with His. I don’t want my children to conform or adapt to my will, but His. Adopting those around me means I love them in spite of their actions. That doesn't mean my heart won't break, but adopting means I can’t always control the outcome. It means that I’m waiting with arms wide open when they come to an understanding of His will in their lives. Our desire should be that through consistancy and faithfulness as trainers then His will will not be departed from as they grow older. My prayer is that the church universal and my own heart will become content with our roles as trainers and that we can let the conformity take place in the relationship between our people/children and their God. Lord help me to trust that in my faithfulness and consistancy your Word will not return void.
Does it not bring you joy to see how as a Christ follower you continue to see old concepts revealing new truths in your life? I’ve been journeying through the concepts of adoption and adaption for some time now and I continue to land on a single principle in His Word. Proverbs 22:6 communicates, “Train up a child in the way he should go so that when they are old they shall not depart from it." To me personally the heartbeat of this verse speaks to much more than we have traditionally taught. I say that because this was a pivotal verse that continually spoke to the purpose of discipline in the home that I grew up in as a child. It was that verse and the one about some rod that my dad tattooed on my backside most of my childhood. The question that I’m wrestling with now is whether we have chosen for this verse about training to communicate through the lens of adaption verses adoption.
We are what we know in so many ways. We mimic what is modeled and we embrace what is comfortable. What makes us comfortable with this verse in the life of the church and our homes is that it places control and power into the hands of the one doing the training. We assume that the role and responsibility placed on the trainer is much greater than it truly is. Don’t mistake what I’m saying. I do believe there is a responsibility on the trainer, but not for the result of the one being trained.
See, I discipline my children and I teach and model truth to them in ways that constantly feel insufficient to me. I get so angry and frustrated when they, in my eyes, disregard my training. This is partly because I feel responsible for their behavior and I see it as a reflection of my involvement in their life. I always thought I would be that cool dad who was popular with my kids friends. It’s like I was trying to make up for lost time in high school or something. I was making my own groupies. However, once reality sets in and I allow my controlling nature to rise up I begin disciplining in ways that make my children conform to my idea of a model citizen. I want them to act like I act and live like I live. Side note: unity is not found in conformity. My wrestling is found in the true relationship in my role as disciplinarian and the outcome of my training. I think the church in many ways has mistaken this concept as well with our drive-by-guiltings on our people.
Look at the verse again. “Train up a child in the way he should go…” See I always thought I knew the best way my child should go. My culture tells me as a father that I know best… we had a television show with that title so that must make it truth. In the end though the outcome is based on the direction the Lord has for my child. “The way he should go” is not dependant on my opinions or what I think is best. God has wired my children with passions and giftedness that are not mine. It means I have to begin to trust that through my faithfulness as a trainer that the Lord will produce in them the understanding of His way for them. His way is not always my way. No matter how hard it is to see my children make choices that I would make differently, I have to remember that God has a way planned for them. The same is true in the church. Adoption is admitting that I can only provide care and love, but adaption is assuming my way for a hurting world is better than His way.
If I learn to be faithful with my role then I have to become comfortable and content with His. I don’t want my children to conform or adapt to my will, but His. Adopting those around me means I love them in spite of their actions. That doesn't mean my heart won't break, but adopting means I can’t always control the outcome. It means that I’m waiting with arms wide open when they come to an understanding of His will in their lives. Our desire should be that through consistancy and faithfulness as trainers then His will will not be departed from as they grow older. My prayer is that the church universal and my own heart will become content with our roles as trainers and that we can let the conformity take place in the relationship between our people/children and their God. Lord help me to trust that in my faithfulness and consistancy your Word will not return void.
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