Medic

                                                                                                                                 July 21, 2012

I write today as a weary and tired father.  I'm tempted to keep this post private like I have so many others regarding my journey as an adoptive parent. I've been angry, sad, and disappointed at so many different points on this road and I maintain the opinion that adoption has been my greatest challenge in both ministry and life. Don't get me wrong, there have been moments of great joy and pride that have come from the progression of my children and their steps to growing up, but the steps are painstaking at times.  I hate sounding jaded.  I don't like to complain, never have.  However, there are times when being real about my stage of life demands honesty about how I feel and what I need from my God and Father. 

Today I read Hebrews 2 and I had to ask what it looks like for God to give help.  Hebrews 2:16 through 18 both speak to God coming to the aid and help of those that need Him.  I've been in ministry now for sixteen years and I understand what it means to have a redemptive Father.  I know Him as a sacrifice for my sins. I'll never be able to fully comprehend that, but as glorious as it is to know the depths of my salvation there are moments where my eternal inheritance does not carry the weight of today.

"Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest."  This verse sounds good and I understand it to read as a promise, but it is contingent on me coming to Him first.  It's a tough place when you get so jaded you don't even want to come to Him, but it's real.  We close off and hold the world at bay.  The continued on slot of daily struggles keep us from ever caring about His promises.  It's in those moments we recognize mercy.  That leads me to my next blog...

Father, I need strength and wisdom to be the man you called me to be.  Never let this life be the focus of my struggle, but the prize of knowing your glorious presence.  Hold my family in your grip and allow me to see the tangible presence of your power and grace.  I love you Father.